Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
