What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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