I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
