I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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