He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize