I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
