That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
