conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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