come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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