Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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