I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need a beard to bite.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
