The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
