Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
