u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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