this boner is exhausting
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
