you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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