Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
