No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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