I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize