i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
vagina is talking i cant
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
