She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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