i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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