Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
