i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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