I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
