I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
