Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
