I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
