remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
