I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
