I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
