I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
