She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
