No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
no, he came in my armpit
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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