he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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