She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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