dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize