I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.