I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
