He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
