let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want her autograph on my taint
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
