no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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