we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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