I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dignity is for republicans.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize