i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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