and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
