yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
