we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
