You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
