i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am one with the molecules
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
