He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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