at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
