my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
That's when you crack a 10am beer
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
