He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
