Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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