I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
