**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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