I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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