I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How does it feel to date your dad?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
